What do you mean by that?
by goldpiece
Summary: Booth is at the scene of a crime with Hodgins and Zack, and other absurdities based on the games of Whose Line is it Anyway
1. Two Line Vocabulary

AN/ Whoever out there has watched 'Who's Line is it Anyway', please raise your hand. This story was inspired by a game on 'Who's Line' in which two of the players have only two lines of dialogue each, and the third can say whatever they want. In handling the dialogue, I wrote Booth's and Wolfy wrote Zack and Hodgins. Enjoy

Booth walked to the remains with Dr. Zack Addy and Dr. Jack Hodgins, both with him while Brennan was in the middle of a book tour. The one time she turns me down, Booth thought as they approached the remains. "Okay, some kids were hiking along that trail over there when they came across the body. They called the police, who punted it over to me due to the fact that the remains are in a state park. I want the remains looked over quickly so we can get out of here, comprende?"

Zack nodded and began to walk toward the remains. "That's my job," he tossed over his shoulder.

"Yes it is, Zack, but I want to see more work and less talk, okay?"

"What do you mean by that?" Hodgins asked.

"What do you mean, what do I mean? I mean that the hole that's a few inches lower than your nose needs to be shut so we can concentrate on bagging these remains and soil samples."

Hodgins held out his arms and smiled at the agent. "Somebody needs a hug."

"You do that, and I'll shoot you. See, and people wonder why I shot an Ice Cream Truck. Just...get to work."

"That's my job," Zack called again from the remains.

Booth rolled his eyes and ran his fingers through his hair. "I'm sure you can get some help from Hodgins, it's not like it'll kill you."

"Who needs this?" the young doctor asked, throwing down a glove.

"You're going to pout now? Oh for the love of all things holy, act like a professional. You're a forensic anthropologist. Start behaving like one."

"What do you mean by that?" Hodgins asked as he scratched at his head.

"You've got to be kidding me. What are you two, a couple of comedians? Next time I'm not going to let Bones convince me that this is a good idea, taking the two of you alone."

"Somebody needs a hug," Hodgins said again, holding out his arms and taking a step toward the agent.

"Geez, what is it with you and the hug thing? You want to hug someone, hug Zack."

"Who needs this?" Zack questioned, with raised eyebrows.

"Who needs...Okay, you two can just get back to work. It'll make us all a lot happier."

"That's my job," Zack repeated.

Booth reached for his gun, before stopping and taking a calming breath. He looked at the two scientists and sighed. Brennan certainly wouldn't appreciate him taking out two members of her brain trust, not to mention that it would cause a lot of paperwork. "How's about this. I'm going to go stand over there by the other agents, and you're going to look at our victim here. How does that sound?"

"What do you mean by that?" Hodgins asked.

"It means that if I don't get away from the two of you while you dig in the dirt, then I'll cause someone harm, and it won't be myself."

Hodgins cocked his head to one side and smiled. "Somebody needs a hug."

As Zack snickered at the comment, Booth shot both of them a dirty look. "I certainly don't need this. And I don't need a hug. Now, please, just leave me alone."

Zack threw his hands in the air. "Who needs this?" he said around a sigh.

Booth glowered at the pair as another agent approached them. "There a problem here Booth?"

"No, no problem, just a friendly discussion with my squints."

"What do you mean by that?" Hodgins asked- his voice laced with irritation.

"I'm sorry...my two esteemed colleagues are having a discussion with me in regards to the remains. Happy now?"

Zack nodded and said, "That's my job."

Booth, never one to cry, wished at that second to have a nice soft, feminine shoulder to shed tears on. His FBI agent friend looked at Zack and smiled. "Yes it is your job and you're doing great job at it too."

"What do you mean by that?" Hodgins asked, stepping between Zack and the agent.

"It means that just because you have a higher level of intelligence, you are socially inept and need to be coddled to get results." The agent wasn't prepared for the fist to the face from Booth's end.

"If anyone's going to coddle them, it's gonna be me."

"Who needs this?" Zack said yanking his kit up from the ground.

"Zack, please, just set your kit down. You know Bones won't like knowing that you let some jerk get to you."

"Somebody needs a hug," Hodgins piped in.

"You're right, Hodgins. Somebody does need a hug, but for now...remains please."

Zack gave a sigh and put his kit back down. "That's my job."


	2. If You Know What I Mean

AN: This chapter is based off that great Who's line game...If you know what I mean. You'll see what I mean. Haha.

Waitresses weren't supposed to be that sexy if they didn't work at places like Hooters. Booth, Hodgins and Zack watched her, imagining that she was in some little leather get up while washing a car and getting completely soaked. Hodgins sighed in appreciation before taking a swig of beer. "That girl could light my Bunsen burner, if you know what I mean."

Booth nodded his agreement, his eyes never leaving the woman's rear as she bent over a table to collect her tip money.

"No, I don't know what you mean," Zack said, looking from one man to the other. "What do you mean?"

Booth looked at the young doctor and grinned. He made eye contact with Hodgins before the bug man laughed.

"He means, he'd like to fill her graduated cylinder."

"Yeah, I have no idea what you're talking about."

Booth joined in the laughter, bringing one hand up to try and cover the sound. "Oh, come on, man," he said. "Wouldn't you like her to examine your bones?"

Hodgins' laughter turned to a snicker as he pinched his lips shut as Zack answered, "I'm an anthropologist, why would a waitress be looking at my bones?"

"Z-Man, come on. You'd have to love an anatomy lesson from her. It could blow your mind."

"I highly doubt that she knows more about human anatomy than I do."

Booth dropped his head into his hands and let out a loud groan. "What's wrong with him?" Angela asked dropping into the seat next to Hodgins.

"Booth," Zack started. "And Hodgins were trying to explain how that waitress could give me anatomy lessons."

"What he means," Booth jumped in but it was too late. Angela and Cam were staring at him with amused smirks.

"Why would you think that?" Brennan asked, looking around the table.

"No reason," Booth mumbled, before taking a large gulp of his drink. Zack looked at the FBI agent confused.

"Didn't you tell me something about filling her graduated cylinder?" Booth spit out his drink as Cam and Angela began to laugh.

"Fill it with what?" Brennan asked, as confused as the young doctor.

"You know, Bren," Angela started. "The boys here want to check her temperature. Dip into her petri dish."

"They want," Cam threw in, "her to give an oral explanation so she can move to the head of the class."

"What are you talking about? It makes no sense."

"Bones, he'd want to make a donation of DNA, if you know what I'm saying." Cam, Angela and Hodgins snickered.

"No, no, I don't. What does a DNA sample have to do with the waitress?"

"He wants to examine her structure," Hodgins said.

"Of course he would, it's what he does for a living."

"Bren, sweetie," Angela began. "How can I say this?" The artist fell silence as Brennan stared at her.

"Put what?"

Booth shook his head and then leaned over toward her. He whispered something to her, and as the table watched, Brennan's eyes grew wide and she swatted at the agent's arm. "Booth," she said. "Zack does not want to have sex with her. Do you?"

The young doctor looked shell shocked. And then his eyes widened in understanding.

"So what you're saying, is that I'd want to sterilize my equipment." Brennan looked at him as if he were crazy.

"There you go Zack," Angela laughed.


	3. Scenes From A Hat

A/N::looks around, then waves Goldy over:: Hey, Goldy, reach in and pull out a piece of paper. ::holds out a hat: watches Goldy pull out a piece of paper:: Why thank you. ::takes the paper and unfolds it:: Okay, people, it says, "Places where it's inappropriate to break into song and dance." You want it, we've got it for you. Enjoy.

Seeley Booth and Temperance Brennan walked into the Jeffersonian after lunch, which consequently was their third date together. They had finally decided that they would give it a try, and though things were progressing slowly, everything was going well. Booth was elated she'd given him a chance, and Temperance was enjoying it much more than she wanted to admit.

As they reached her office, she turned to face him and offered him a smile.

"I really had a good time," she said, looking up at him through her eyelashes.

"It was just lunch at the diner," Booth pointed out. "We do that all the time."

"I know, but this was different."

"Yeah? How so?"

"Well, for starters you normally don't hold my hand," and to prove her point she held up their still linked hands.

"Oh, is that what I was holding," he grinned and brought her hand up to his lips to kiss her knuckles.

"Yes, and you've never done that before either," she murmured, still not taking her eyes off of him.

"Well, I think that needs to change then," he whispered and kissed her knuckles again.

Brennan drew her bottom lip in between her teeth as she tried to keep the grin from spreading across her face. "I think I can get used to this," Booth said, pulling her from her thoughts.

"Yeah?" she questioned. "And how about this?" With that, she closed the distance between them and touched her lips gently to his. "Can you get used to that?" she asked after pulling away. Booth went from stunned to excited. Their first kiss. Their first kiss and she had started it. 

"What?" Brennan asked, drawing her brows together.

With a smile Booth softly began to sing, "Well a woman who'll kiss on the very first date is usually a hussy." Suddenly, he dropped her hand and took a step back, and singing louder continued, "And a woman who'll kiss on the second time out is anything but fussy."

Brennan looked at him stunned. What was going on with him?

"But a woman who waits 'til the third time around, head in the clouds, feet on the ground! She's the girl he's glad he's found--she's his Shipoopi!"

Out of nowhere, the lab techs and other squints turned to face the pair as Brennan watched, stunned.

"Shipoopi, Shipoopi, Shipoopi, The girl who's hard to get," the boys all sang, Zack belting it particularly loud.

Brennan looked from Zack and the other techs back to Booth who was now singing out, Shi-Poo-Pi! Shi-Poo-Pi! Shi-Poo-Pi!" 

Suddenly Angela and a few other female employees jumped up from behind a table and sung, "But you can win her yet."

Booth danced to Brennan and took her hand, and spun her around. "Walk her once just to raise the curtain, Walk around twice and you make for certain."

"Booth," Brennan hissed out. "Would you stop that?" 

"Once more," he began again. "In the flower garden, she will never get sore, if you beg her pardon."

The entire lab raised their hands above their heads and began to sing together again, "Do re me fa so la si do si la so fa me re do."

"What is wrong with you people," She yelled out as they began whirling each other around and doing the Charleston.

"Squeeze her once when she isn't looking," Booth began and gave a squeeze to her backside. She yelped in protest.

"If you get a squeeze back, that's fancy cookin'." Instead of a squeeze, Brennan swatted Booth's shoulder. "Once more for a pepper-upper, she will never get sore on her way to supper."

"Don't you dare," Brennan warned, as Booth smiled at her and danced off. 

Again the whole lab raised their arms above their heads and sung, "Do re me fa sol la si do si do," with Booth leading the way. 

"Shi-Poo-Pi," he started again. "Shi-Poo-Pi! Shi-Poo-Pi!"

Jack and Zack jumped up onto the examination tables, which thankfully were clear of remains. "The girl who's hard to get."

"What are you doing! Get off of there," Brennan screeched as they were joined by Angela and Cam. Oh please, Brennan thought, don't let the tables collapse.

"Shipoopi, Shipoopi, Shipoopi, but you can win her yet." The girls sang. Brennan looked in despair as Jack and Angela danced cheek to cheek, and much to her surprise, so were Zack and Cam. Booth was whirling around the lab dancing with a skeleton used for instruction.

"Shi-Poo-Pi, Shi-Poo-Pi, Shi-Poo-Pi! The girl who's hard to get," the lab sung as they danced. "Shi-Poo-Pi,  
Shi-Poo-Pi, Shi-Poo-Pi, but you can win her yet." At this point, everybody danced together toward the middle of the lab. "You can win her yet!" they all yelled. Most of the lab threw their arms above their heads, and Booth dropped to his knees and slid across the floor. "Shi-Poo-Pi!" And with that, they all froze, the lab eerie silent. Then Booth stood, and walked toward Brennan and the rest of the lab went back to their normal work. Brennan watched in confusion. 

"So," Booth said, as if nothing had happened. "We still on for dinner tonight?"

AN: Well people, there you have it. The song is Shipoopi, from 'The Music Man'. If you have any Who's line games that you'd like us to consider, then please let us know. We're totally open to suggestions.


	4. Sixty Second Vocabulary

_AN: Hey Wolfy? (Yes Goldy?) It's been a long time, huh? (You got that right.) So what are we giving our fans this time? Scenes from a hat? Party Quirks? (How about Sixty Second Vocabulary?) Hey that works for me. You heard the woman, readers! The rules to this game is that each line of dialogue starts with the next letter of the alphabet. We chose to start with…well, you'll see. Hope you enjoy this latest chapter from Gold Wolf Productions._

"Question for me Agent Booth," Sweets asked as said agent entered his office with Dr. Jack Hodgins in tow.

"Right you are," Booth said, pushing Hodgins toward the doctor.

"So, what exactly is the problem," he replied as his gaze turned onto the surly looking entomologist.

"Tell Hodgins that putting beetles in my coffee is a sign of some deep, dark problem."

"Umm, why exactly are you putting beetles in his coffee?" Sweets looked disgusted at the thought of taking a sip of coffee only to have a beetle float to the surface.

"Very reasonable people eat beetles and such," Hodgins answered, flopping down on Sweets' couch.

"When have you ever known me to even think about eating a bug?" Booth looked at Jack with an outraged expression. As if he'd really eat a bug.

"Xenophobia, dude- you fear the unknown."

"You are so wrong about that," Booth retorted and crossed his arms across his chest as he glared at the bug man.

"Zaniness is fun to watch, but rarely solves problems," Sweets said standing from his chair.

"Absolutely in agreement with you there Sweets, so would you please tell him that he's deeply disturbed if he's putting beetles in my coffee?"

"Booth, for the last time- get over it," Hodgins demanded.

"Care to explain why you did it in the first place?" Sweets looked from one to the other, fairly amused at the argument.

"Don't know really."

"Excuse me?" Hodgins found it fairly amusing that Booth's outrage seemed to grow exponentially in situations, and it was proving quite fun to watch.

"For starters, let us all settle down," Sweets said, coming around his desk.

"Good idea there Sweets," Hodgins grinned as he watched Booth glare at the pair of them. This was fun.

"How about I take out my gun and shoot you?" Booth questioned, glaring at both doctors.

"Is that your answer to everything Agent Booth?" Sweets turned inquiring eyes up at the FBI agent.

"Just when people get on my last nerve and puts bugs in my coffee."

"Kiss my..." Hodgins didn't get to finish the sentence as the angry glare of the agent was set upon him.

"Let's just go get some coffee and…" but Sweets let his sentence drop as well. Yeah, that wouldn't go over very well.

"Make this... jerk apologize for putting bugs in my coffee!"

"Not really in my powers, Agent Booth."

"Oh, don't give me that," Booth said as a pout began to form on his lips.

"Please, you two, just kiss and make up." They both looked at the shrink and groaned before leaving the office. Sweets grinned and sat back in his chair. Beetles indeed. Those two together were nearly as bad as Booth and Brennan. He picked up his cup of coffee to take a sip and spit it out as a large beetle floated to the surface.


End file.
